(Non) Fiction
“What is this party?” Jake asks as he walks into their apartment.
“It’s an Unbirthday Party.” Chloe says.
“Mostly it’s a ‘Welcome to this place’ party.” Megan explains.
Jake nods and then turns to Chloe, “What’s an Unbirthday party?”
“It’s a party which means it’s not your birthday and there are 364 of those and you just want to party. You need to watch Alice in Wonderland. The Mad Hatter can sure throw a party.”
“Right,” Jake says. “So it’s a party that does not celebrate a birthday?”
“Actually,” a girl says, “it’s my birthday today.”
“Okay. What was your name again?” Chloe leans in.
“My name is Linda. I’m your next door neighbor.” She explains.
“Great. Happy birthday, Linda. Now get out.” Chloe starts to walk away.
“Um, what?” Linda looks at Jake and Megan. Megan shakes her head and Jake looks anywhere but Linda’s eyes.
“Well, Linda my neighbor, this is an Unbirthday Party which means not a birthday party, so…” Chloe looks at her expectantly.
Linda looks at Megan and Megan gives her an apologetic look then makes her hand look like she’s holding a cup and then puts it up to her lips and tips her head back.
“I have not been drinking!” Chloe looks away. “Much.”
“Don’t listen to her, Linda, she’s insane.” Jake assures her.
“You don’t know my life, Jake!”
“Oh, great. Now she’s going to try to pee in the sink.” Megan sighs.
“After a few drinks?” Linda asks.
“No, once she’s sober.”
“That was one time, Megan! One time and everyone makes such a big deal out of it!”
“Why would you even try that?” Jake asks.
“She gets too into movies sometimes. She still goes around telling cars she knows their secret. That they can show their true selves to her.” Megan shrugs.
“Transformers is an amazing movie!”
“I don’t understand you people.” Linda says.
“So why don’t you only let her watch cartoon movies? Like Disney movies?” Jake suggests.
“No! She’ll go around quoting it. And singing it’s songs. And annoying the hell out of me by leaving her Disney stuffed animals on the couch because ‘they get lonely in her room’” Megan takes a deep breath.
“She’s no fun.” Chloe sulks.
“Ha!” Megan huffs.
“We need drinks.” Jake says.
“Jake,” Chloe wraps an arm around his shoulders. “You got a friend in me.”
————
“So what do you guys do for fun?” Jake asks.
“Shot!” Megan tips her head back and empties her shot glass.
“Fun is for sissies!” Chloe yells.
“What?” Megan laughs.
“You heard me! Don’t act stupid!”
“Your mom.”
“You don’t even make sense!”
Megan laughs. “I don’t make sense?”
“What’s what I said.”
“You’re stupid.”
“I’m not random, your brain just isn’t as fast as mine.”
“Ha! Yeah, right.”
“Yes, I am right.” Chloe says smugly and then looks at Jake. “Wait, back to your question. My answer is blue. Am I right?”
“Completely.” Jake nods.
“Shot!” Chloe says and drinks.
“What does she win?” Megan asks.
“A million gold doubloons.” Jake exclaims.
“What am I going to do with a million balloons?” Chloe gets an idea and stands up. “Guys! I just won a million balloons which I will use to tie to this building and fly us to Paradise Island!”
“We’re going to South America?” a guy in the back shouts.
Chloe nods. “I’m so excited I could pee!”
Jake grabs a hold of her arm and pulls her back into her seat as people started to cheer. “I think you need to stop drinking.”
“Shot!” Chloe yells and her and Megan empty their glasses.
“More alcohol cannot stop this brain!” Megan says and pour herself another drink.
“What are you drinking?” Jake asks and looks down at Chloe’s ‘glass’. “Gross! What drink is green?”
“Shot!” Megan yells and drinks.
“NyQuil.” Chloe replies. “But I only drink the amount they tell me on the back of the bottle.”
“Well, yeah, but if you drink 20 of those in three minutes there is no point.”
Chloe nods. “Hey Megan, what word that Jake says are we supposed to drink at?”
“I don’t remember.” Megan shrugs. “Let’s drink every time he blinks!”
“You’ll die!” Jake shouts.
“You get my laptop and Genma gets my teddy bears.” Chloe says seriously. “Shot!”
“What do I get?” Megan refills her glass.
“Everything else.” Chloe refills her glass. “SHOT!”
